Fear and anxiety have walked beside me basically my entire life. Friends they are not, however during the covid fiasco my biggest albatross became my greatest gift.
Suddenly, it felt like my life was turned inside out as I watched in horror as the entire world reacted in fear. I knew what it was like to be a prisoner of fear. I often felt like I was on the inside looking out at everyone else who appeared free from the chains that kept me bound.
It was a very ominous, undescribable feeling, like I was watching a horror film or living in a dystopian world. But oddly, I felt more fearless than ever in an insane world.
The eeriness of parks, schools, churches and businesses being closed was deeply disturbing. Basketball hoops were removed from parks and swings were chained up, discouraging children from playing outside.
Schools sat empty. For shame teachers unions, you are supposed to care about kids. An entire generation of children now traumatized and academically behind, for what?
Entire cities that were once bustling and full of life were ghost towns.
All this was not normal, nor should it ever be.
People hiding in their houses, whether by choice or in some cases by force, were afraid to interact. If they dared to walk outdoors, they would cross to the other side just to avoid another person as if some invisible drop of death would fall upon them. Wearing masks they were grasping at straws to pacify their imaginations while they looked like zombies from another galaxy and acted like they belonged in a mental hospital. How could this happen? It was irrational. It made me realize more and more just how irrational fear was.
The world was reversed for me, while stay home–waste lives seemed to be the directive. People who always told me not to fear or that I worry too much, were now literally telling me to be afraid! The thing I spend my entire life trying NOT to be! How insane was that? They did not like my bravery now.
How far toward insanity has a society gone when fear is promoted and even considered virtuous? Something was obviously wrong when the media was promoting insanity and fear rather than saying, this is not right, we need to go about our lives.
Where were the health gurus or religious leaders telling us not to fear? Archbishop Carlo Maria Vigano, one of the few Catholic religious leaders that does speak out about the evil of our time, warned, “our enemy is not the virus, but the insanity of those who betray their duties to the detriment of the community.” Our rights were trampled and most people allowed it.
Because this plandemic (yes it was planned) was “unprecedented” –a word I abhor–people went along like glorious little obedient sheep because, quite simply, they were afraid of dying. I think when Jesus talks about sheep in the Bible, this is not what He means.
Many people put their faith in government and medical professionals they thought would save them, but had really duped them. Because people were afraid, they were unable to distinguish reality from fantasy or look at things logically or spiritually. Anyone who went against the evil narrative and followed truth was seen as a threat and cancelled. What happened to freedom of speech, much less thought?
According to mass formation psychosis theory, and just basic social psychology, the need to belong and be part of something bigger, had many people bound, gaslit and brainwashed. The world indeed had gone mad. I write more about this here. It’s unsettling how truth and reality can be twisted to become quite the opposite.
Yet however virtuous people thought they were, the bottom line was they were afraid of dying. The death rate is one hundred percent for all of us. No one will escape so why focus on one virus unless there is a nefarious reason?
Surprisingly, all my years of worry, anxiety, and fear had prepared me for this time as well as being a child of immigrants from the Nazi Germany era, which gave me a perspective many other people just did not have.
Never underestimate the destructive power of fear. It can bring down entire nations, as we have seen time and again. I saw crystal clearly the insanity of it all.
There is a Bible passage that says, “When I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:10) I never thought it possible, but my weakness became my strength during the plandemic.
Safety is an illusion. We are not safe until we are resting in the arms of Jesus. This does not mean we hide and cower in fear until then. There is work to be done as this insanity has so clearly proven.
Like a mother caring for a frightened child, God instructs us not to fear 365 times in the Bible, once for each day of the year. That is how serious the problem of fear is for us humans. The devil loves it when we are afraid and so do tyrants. (Notice the word “evil” inside the word devil.)
I remember when The Rose, a song sung by Bette Midler, was popular. It is on my playlist. It always spoke to me, especially the wise words, “…and the soul afraid of dying that never learns to live.” Feeling torn between being afraid to die and afraid to live is a terrible place to be. During the plandemic, people were afraid of dying, so they stopped living and were all too willing to give up their rights and God-given freedom for a bit of false security.
Many, if not all, fears ultimately stem from fear of death, either our own or our loved ones, but if we are Christians, we should have nothing to fear for Christ has conquered death and we will live life eternal.
“For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain.”
I wish I had an answer for fear and anxiety. I do not. It’s as old as humanity itself and part of the fallen human condition. Faith and support from others can help, as well as exercise and keeping busy to distract your mind from unwanted thoughts.
But it’s also sometimes a matter of adjusting and learning how to live with the handicaps we all have. It is an ongoing struggle that I consider my thorn in the flesh as St. Paul spoke of in 2 Corinthians 12:7-9. It keeps me going back to God because I know I am powerless on my own.
“I am the vine, you are the branches apart from me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5) God wasn’t kidding.
All we can do is try our best to seize the day and live one moment at a time and make sure we NEVER LET THIS INSANITY HAPPEN AGAIN.
Here is a way to get involved to make sure we retain our freedom: https://sovereigntycoalition.org/
Further Resources:
https://www.nami.org/About-Mental-Illness/Mental-Health-Conditions/Anxiety-Disorders