Ordinary Moments

STILLNESS

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“My soul, wait in stillness, only for God—from Him comes my salvation.”  

Ps. 62:2  (TLV-Tree of Life Version)

In preparing our hearts for celebrating the birth of our Savior, it is difficult to obtain peace in the midst of worldly Christmas preparations like shopping, meal prep, relatives and adult children descending upon us….perhaps pets and grandchildren as well.  These can be happy times, but also stressful and certainly not the picture that comes to mind when we think of “stillness”.

Often, when I have experienced stillness, it has come as a welcome surprise in the least likely places.  Once, believe it or not, a sense of stillness came over me in the midst of IKEA (a gigantic, bustling four-story home emporium).  Maybe it was necessary for survival in that place (!) but I still recall the time I was sitting in a snack area with my four young children and it was extremely crowded and noisy. It seemed like over-consumption and greed was everywhere.  I started thinking about how the quietness of God was in stark contrast to the frenzy I was experiencing at that moment.  It was then that I started to feel God’s presence and a deep sense of stillness in the midst of the madness.  No one around me could see the stillness I had found in my soul, but oddly enough, it was there. 

Other times I’ve experienced a profound sense of stillness in more expected places, for instance after a heavy, night-time snowfall.  The snow covers the earth like a thick white blanket, absorbing the sounds of the world, and it feels so cozy and still, compared to a typical night.  I just love the “sound” of it! 

Another time, I was in Yellowstone National Park and our group decided to hike to the top of Mt. Washburn for the sunrise, starting out in the dark of night.  This was way out of my comfort zone but once we got past the timber line, there were no cars roaring in the distance, no birds chirping or any of the myriad of daily sounds we have grown accustomed to.  There was complete and utter silence hanging heavy in the air.  I will never forget this ultimate experience of stillness and have never experienced anything quite like it since.

Stillness, however, isn’t necessarily complete silence.  The goal is to find it in the midst of the madness of daily life.  It is a state of being.  It comes from deep within us, from the very core of our being.  We must wear stillness like a favorite sweater or pair of snuggly pj’s.  We must know it, befriend it, and embrace it, so that we can call upon it like a dear and familiar friend.  It is a place of peace, rest, and tranquility no matter what is going on around us. And in the stillness, we will find God.

So as we prepare for Christmas, let us try to wait in stillness.  Waiting not only to celebrate the birth of our Savior, but for whatever may be birthed within us from this sacred stillness in our soul.

“Be still and know that I am God!”

(Psalm 46:11)

HELP!

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The most frequent prayer that rolls off my lips is, “Lord Jesus, help me.”  Only four short words, it sounds almost too simple or like it doesn’t count as “praying”, but it can be powerful. 

Such a humble, basic prayer is perfect for when you are at the end of the rope, too scared or too sick to pray, or too anything for that matter.  It’s good for emergency situations as well as when things are just fine.  It never hurts to ask God for help as you go about your day or before you even need it!

Any time you call upon the Creator of the universe, you are tapping into the most immense power possible.  How can you go wrong?  Worst case, nothing will happen and you’ll be talking to yourself.  Pascal’s Wager surmises: if there is no God, you haven’t lost anything by believing.  If there is a God, you’ve lost everything, including eternal happiness.  Odds say it’s worth believing for anyone who has doubts.  

Normally, prayer doesn’t cause God to swoop down like a Magic Genie and immediately answer all our requests or solve all our problems.  I wish that were the case, but much of the time it’s hard to tell if He is helping at all.  And some things just take time.  So we must trust and have faith and in the meantime it gives us the strength and courage to go on.  And it gives us hope.  There is a lot to be said for hope.  Hope is the fuel that keeps us going.

I am reminded of the 1960’s TV show I Dream of Jeannie.  Even Jeannie wasn’t always able to get her Master, Major Anthony Nelson, out of trouble immediately, every time. She would sometimes be tied up in a situation or get locked in her bottle and other times she chose to ignore Major Nelson to teach him a lesson. Sometimes God needs to teach us a lesson.

But every now and then there are occasions where God does swoop down pretty quickly.  One such time was when I was in the hospital popping out my youngest.  I was in a drug-induced stupor but I did have a spiritual moment when things became too much to bear and I screamed aloud, “Oh Jesus help me!”  A few moments later my daughter was born and the doc answered, “He did.”  God spoke to me through the doctor and what a miraculous relief it was!

Plenty of people in the Bible are found calling out to Jesus for help, (not just women in childbirth).  One of my favorite passages is when Peter was walking on the water and he started sinking and cried, “Lord, save me!” (Matt. 14:30) It was a short “prayer” out of desperation.  Sometimes we are desperate.

Jesus Himself cried out to the Father in desperation for help before His crucifixion.  We can take consolation that even Jesus, the Son of God, didn’t get the magic genie answer He was hoping for.  He still had to suffer and die before there was a resurrection.  (Luke 22:42-44)

God is our Father and wants to help us if we cry out to Him, just as earthly fathers help their children.  If you painted a beautiful picture, you wouldn’t want your work ruined or destroyed.  Just as God has created all of us as His beautiful works of art, His heart longs to alleviate our misery when we look to Him.  He is always waiting, always ready to save us with open arms.

“Lord Jesus, help me” is a simple way to set our minds on God and remember He is with us in all the moments of life.  It helps remind me that I am not in charge and I need His help.  I belong to God, I am His.  Constantly submitting to Him keeps my ego in check and opens me up to receiving the help and blessings He wishes to bestow upon me.  

       Apart from me you can do nothing. (John 15:5) 

So next time you need help, whether you are having a crisis or just a normal day, think of Jesus.  Ask Him for help and allow His power to flow through you.  “Lord Jesus, help me.”

Lost and Found

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Don’t you hate losing things?  I feel like I spend one third of my life looking for things I’ve misplaced around the house.  Why is this?  I consider myself pretty organized.  Sometimes I get the brainy idea to move something to a “better place”.  That usually backfires when I can’t remember where the better place is. Alas, we are creatures of habit.

Just for fun I searched “lost items” on the internet.  I couldn’t believe how much I found (play on words?!).  This is obviously a common problem because there are Youtube videos on how to find your lost objects and Wikipedia instructions with 13 steps complete with photos.  There was even a TV series entitled Lost (2004-2010).  Who knew?

There are also videos on topics such as the “20 Most Wanted Lost Objects in the World” and even a website lostify.com which is an online lost and found for people or objects.  This is going a little too far, perhaps.

Lost objects already result in lost time looking for them.  Ironic.  It’s double the loss.  Do people actually need directions on how to find something?  It makes me feel like the Alzheimer’s is coming on and I’ve lost my mind, if I would need to resort to a video on how to find things!  All we have to do is LOOK. 

Some people turn to Saint Anthony of Padua, the patron saint of lost objects, for help when they can’t find something.  As the story goes, Anthony lost an important notebook which was then later returned to him by the monk who had it all along.  I must admit, Saint Anthony has often come through for me and a whispered prayer of desperation is a lot quicker than watching a video!

Psychology Today magazine has published articles about how to find your lost stuff and reports we spend a total of two and a half days per year searching for lost items!  (Personally, I think it’s more!)  Sixty years of life, for example, multiplied by two and a half can equal 150 days of your life spent looking for things! 

Although sometimes hunting for lost things can be fun, like children searching for Easter eggs or a good game of Clue, looking for our lost stuff is typically not all fun and games. For some it is even a career if you happen to be a detective, or an archaeologist digging up treasures from the past.

Losing a shopping list or TV remote isn’t as important as losing something valuable like jewelry, money, or a sentimental family heirloom which can’t be replaced. 

There can often be serious consequences for losing things.  Losing your car keys can make you late for work or an appointment.  Losing a Drivers’ License, credit card or Social Security card can be a gain for thieves and a nightmare for you.

Lost wedding ring?  Lots of sitcom episodes about that.

Worse yet, is losing something that is alive like a pet or child.  Anyone who has ever lost a child at the store knows it’s the longest 5 minutes of your life while you think of every horrific scenario imaginable.

This brings me to the Parable of the Lost Sheep (Matt. 18:12-14).  Of course you will go look for that one child (or sheep)!  So many times we ramble about life like God’s lost children.  How He longs for us to seek and return to Him, just as the father in the story of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32) welcomed his son back home with open arms.  The father was always waiting and hoping. Luke 15, verse 32: “…your brother was dead and has come to life again; he was lost and has been found.”

There are times we feel lost in life, like the prodigal son.  We don’t know which way to turn.  We are uncertain about the future.  We need a map or gps so we don’t get lost getting to our destination.  In order to not become spiritually lost, the Bible is God’s map for our lives.  In His Word we can find everything we need to stay on course.

Mary of Magdala was looking for Jesus after he rose from the dead and was no longer in the tomb, but He was right there with her and she didn’t recognize Him.  (John 20:11-18)

Jesus is always right there with us and how often do we fail to see Him or forget He is there? Unlike lost objects, we never have to search far and wide for our Heavenly Father.

Jesus, who is eternal, is the most important thing we should be seeking.  More important than any temporary material item we have lost on earth.  If we lose our salvation, everything we have lost in our earthly life would pale in comparison.

Let’s not stay spiritually lost.  If you haven’t done so, you can give your life to Christ and He will guide you to salvation so you won’t be lost eternally.  This is the most important thing you could ever do.

The hymn “Amazing Grace” says it well, “I once was lost, but now am found.  Was blind but now I see.”  Let us always see Jesus with us, and we will never have to be lost again.

Are You Using Your Potential?

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Some claim it’s a myth we only use ten percent of our potential. I don’t know how this can be accurately measured, but how much of your potential do you think you use?  My guess is most of us only tap into a small part of our potential at any given time even though our brains contain 100 billion neurons!

The days blend into weeks, months and then years and perhaps we feel like we accomplish so little besides trying to get through another day.  Is that enough?  Quite frankly, some days it is. 

There is an I Love Lucy episode that hits the nail on the head as far as potential goes.  Lucy has set out to bake bread and decides to use 13 cakes of yeast rather than the three the recipe called for, assuming more has got to be better.  As we can see in the clip, that isn’t always the case and not what should be motivating us.

Tiny granules of yeast have the potential to make things rise but things didn’t turn out too well for Lucy as we see in the exaggerated size of her loaf of bread.   

In birthing our potential, we have to grow from within, like the yeast.  This is not always fun, for the oven is hot, but if we wait the required amount of time, we will reap the results.  We must keep the end goal in sight, scrumptious perfectly golden bread.

Jesus teaches about potential first in the Parable of the Mustard Seed and then again in the Parable of the Yeast!  (Matt 13:31-33)

With potential also comes responsibility.  Humans have the potential to do good or evil.  There are two sides to every coin. Either the seed is sown and grows tall and strong, or it withers without the right conditions and care.  If the yeast is at exatly the right temperature, it spreads within the bread causing it to properly rise, but if the yeast is put in too high a temperature, it dies and the bread will turn out flat as a pancake.  One bad seed can spoil the whole batch.

But maybe achieving our potential isn’t about doing great, amazing things each day and making new discoveries for the world to behold.  Maybe the potential in each day is much simpler than that, like going grocery shopping for your family, being kind to a stranger, tending to your home or job responsibilities—wherever you are planted for that day.  Most days in life aren’t going to be skyrockets and fireworks exciting.

St. Therese of Lisieux and her Little Way says:  “Remember that nothing is small in the eyes of God.  Do all that you do with love.” and Mother Teresa of Calcutta is known for saying: “Not all of us can do great things.  But we can do small things with great love.” and “It’s not about how much you do, but how much love you put into what you do that counts.”  Both these saints were proponents of simplicity in life and fulfilled their potential through their daily tasks. 

But as comforting as the words from these two great saints sound, I often feel like it justifies copping out.  It’s almost too simple so when I lack motivation, their words can allow me to be satisfied with mediocrity rather than striving to grow or attain a goal.  It can be good to have at least a bit of dissatisfaction in life or we won’t aim higher.

So how do we become motivated to reach our potential when it is easier to just cop out or procrastinate since there are always a myriad of distractions and excuses? 

WAYS TO STAY MOTIVATED TO REACH YOUR POTENTIAL

  • First, we need to step out of our comfort zone.  Don’t get stuck in a daily rut.  Try new things once in a while.
  • Second, we need to discipline ourselves not to waste too much time on things that rob our time such as technology.
  • Also, try to turn your fears and weaknesses into your greatest strengths or at least find ways to work around them.  If you have a rebellious streak, turn that into something positive and be bold toward a cause you are passionate about.  
  • Find a mentor if appropriate, or analyze what successful people you admire have done.
  • Learn how to do things you never thought you could do in order to achieve your goals.  Consider taking a class to learn new skills.
  • Create actual concrete goals.  The SMART Framework is a popular method used by businesses.
  • And the most important piece of advice:  NEVER GIVE UP!

In the end, it’s the tiny seeds we plant each day that matter, as the saints realized.  We don’t always see the growth of our efforts as they are taking place, just as the farmer doesn’t stand over his seeds until they grow into a mature crop.  He keeps busy sowing more seed or he won’t reap a harvest.   

I suspect most of us never use 100 percent of our potential at any given time in life, but we can keep trying to use our gifts in the small moments of each day.  Don’t be satisfied to just survive, but thrive as you inch closer to your goals.  And remember to be kind to yourself if you feel defeated, tomorrow is another day.

Marred – Like My Kitchen Table, Nothing is Perfect and that’s Okay

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  • marred – damaged or spoiled to a certain extent; made less perfect, attractive, useful, etc.  (dictionary.com)
  • marred – to ruin or diminish the perfection or wholeness of  (Merriam Webster)
  • marred – blemished by injury or rough wear (wordnik.com) 

This describes my kitchen table.  It has been marred over the years and looks quite beat up with scrapes and scratches, dents and dings.

When we were first married, we bought the kitchen nook set “naked” meaning we had to refinish it.  It was a beastly project, sanding, staining, polyurethane-ing over and over until it was just right.  Young and in love while trying to save money, I was game to try it.  I will tell you now, I would never undertake such a project again.

But this kitchen nook set, with its handy storage benches, has served us well over the years and 4 kids later.

Recently, upon glancing at my marred kitchen table, years of memories came flooding over me.  The table’s wear is proof of years gone by.  That table had “lived” in 3 different locations and one day a fourth, as I want to give it to my youngest who excitedly treasures the thought of refinishing it back to good as new.  She has done these types of projects before, and unlike me, enjoys them.

Besides, with its marred surface and memories, it should stay in the family. Memories of triplets eating around the table with their booster seats, endless craft projects, dinners with friends & family, carving pumpkins, birthdays celebrated and still future memories to be made.  A kitchen table has turned out to be a very emotional place rendering it invaluable. 

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But aren’t we all a bit like that table?  Marred in some way?  Whether by the ups and downs of life, handicaps or failings, disease or sin.  We are all marred by the scars of life.

But Jesus can restore us no matter how badly we have been marred, just as my daughter can restore the wooden table.  Wood can be refinished, just like us. 

We are molded by the hands of God like the potter molds clay.  We are weathered and worn and beat up like the table but we still have value.  Jesus is the great refinisher.  Makes sense, since He was a carpenter’s son.

What has been marred in us can be restored.  We can appreciate who we have become through our scars, dents and dings because they have made us more beautiful and who we are today.

My daughter may choose a different color of stain, but it will still be the same table underneath. Over the years we may look or seem different, but we are still who God made us.

We can always have hope in Christ for our restoration and refinishing. 

I was fascinated (and relieved) when I learned many cultures deliberately include an imperfection in their artwork, rugs, pottery, etc.  In Japanese aesthetics, for instance, it’s known as “wabi sabi”, a world view centered on the acceptance of transience and imperfection.  It is found in many forms of Japanese art.

Our flaws make us unique, just like each piece of crafted artwork. If we look beyond the imperfections we can see the beauty in ourselves and others.

I could cover my kitchen table with a cute or frilly tablecloth to hide the wear and tear and protect it from further abuse, as I have at times, but now I prefer to keep it “naked” with all its dings and dents and memories.  I don’t have to worry about ruining it, because it is already seasoned and each scrape and dent will add a new flavor.

Now, every time I look at my kitchen table, it reminds me of life lived and that nothing and none of us is perfect, and that’s okay.   


A bruised reed He will not break…. (Matthew 12:20)

Yet, Lord, you are our father; we are the clay and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand.  (Isaiah 64:7)

But we hold this treasure in earthen vessels, that the surpassing power may be of God and not from us. We are afflicted in every way, but not constrained; perplexed but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed; (2 Corinthians 7-9)

If Not Now, When?

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As a mother and wife, I have heard the words, “Not now” or “I’ll do it later” far too often.  It drives me crazy because when I ask someone to do something, that is when I want it done, not at a future time (or more likely, never).  I have a note jotted in frustration from 2012 while in the thick of raising four children.  It says:  ‘Not now’ is the answer to a lot of things around here! “Do your homework”.  Not now.  “Try on these pants I bought you.”  Not now.  To the husband, “Let’s just relax for a while.”  Not now.  Well if not now, WHEN??

I am reminded of Bartleby’s famous words “I would prefer not to” from the book Bartleby, the Scrivener by Herman Melville.  Bartleby remains expressionless as he responds, “I would prefer not to” to basically everything he is asked to do at work.  This is about the only thing I remember from college English and literature classes.  It struck a nerve.

I can’t help but wonder what God thinks when we don’t do what He asks.  I’ve heard it said He will find somebody else.  I think of that when I see many of my ideas taken flight by other people.  It took me 40 years, like the Israelites wandering around in the desert, to finally get around to doing some more writing.  I always felt a nagging sense that is what I needed to be doing.  Saying “I would prefer not to” to the master of the universe isn’t a good idea.  The ramifications are a lot worse than not taking out the garbage when asked, or not trying on those pants!

When I was younger, I would get so bent out of shape trying to discern God’s will for my life.  As if it were a one-time decision.  I couldn’t come up with anything that felt right (except maybe writing) and many doors were slammed shut in my face.  I still think I may have made the wrong decision when I was offered a newspaper writing job after high school and didn’t accept it.  I have always wondered what direction my life would have taken if I had.  I feel like I am living my “Plan B” because I missed that particular opportunity.  But who knows, I only have the present.  The past is gone and the future is not guaranteed.

Now being able to look back over the years, I think we have many purposes throughout our lives. God’s will is a continuous journey with many twists and turns along the way.  Many times I think I didn’t even realize a lot of the things I was doing were actually God’s will for that time or at the very least, laying the groundwork for the future.

For instance, I worked as a preschool teacher for a time, but only looking back realized it was part of the path God had for me because I ended up raising triplets plus a fourth child.  That time spent working with preschoolers prepared me for my vocation of motherhood.  I was able to use the skills I had developed to run my household.  Triplet babies needed a schedule, if for no other reason than my sanity.  We had meals, craft time, nap time, outside time, music time, story time.  I had an entire repertoire of crafts and activities at my fingertips.  I was ready for the challenge!

Sometimes even the waiting is part of God’s plan, because His timing is perfect, which I learned battling infertility.  Also, sometimes God has to prepare the other people that will be involved in our fulfilling His will.  There’s so much behind the scenes that we don’t know or may never know.  All this takes time, patience and trust that we are exactly where God wants us to be at that moment, even if it seems like nothing is happening.  Joyce Meyer, whose ministry helped me a lot during my infertility days, likes to say “Learn how to enjoy where you are on the way to where you’re going.”  That is another way of saying, live in the present.  

So how do we become motivated and get things done sooner rather than later?  After my 40 years of desert wandering, I am the last one to ask.  First, I think we have to want something bad enough.  Also, we need to conquer fears that may be holding us back.  But deadlines are my best motivator.  Now that my days on earth are obviously numbered, I feel more like I better get to writing if I don’t want to stand at the Pearly gates (which I just learned is derived from Revelation 21:21)  and have to say to God, “I was going to do it….later”.  I more and more want to be able to say, “I have competed well; I have finished the race; I have kept the faith.”  2 Tim. 4:7

So what is it you have been putting off?  Don’t put it off for 40 years like I did.  Whether it’s pursuing a career, improving your health, learning how to play an instrument, re-uniting with someone you are estranged from, whatever it is, there is no time like the present and that is why it’s fittingly called the “present”. The present is a gift, to ourselves and those around us, if we accept it and not let it sit idle. We should treasure and celebrate the present.  If not NOW, when??

Book:  The Present:  The Gift that Makes you Happier and More Successful at Work and in Life, Today!  by Spencer Johnson

https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/21-instant-ways-to-live-in-the-moment.html

Just an Ordinary Day

1-16-2023

It’s Ordinary Time.  If you are Catholic, you know what that means.  The Christmas season is officially over, (sigh of relief!) but don’t get too excited, it’s almost Lent.  “Always something” as we like to say.  And so it is in the Church, and in life.  As I get older, I appreciate the ordinary much more.  I even prefer it.  Just an ordinary day, what is more blessed than that?  A day where nothing extraordinarily good, or bad, happens.  I’ll take it!

Years ago, someone told me to be thankful for an ordinary day because she had just gotten word that a friend’s child was helicoptered to the hospital and it was no ordinary day for them. It was a reminder that we must count our blessings each day for we don’t know what tomorrow, or even the next minute, will bring.  (This awareness riddles me with constant anxiety but that is another article.)

Ordinary doesn’t have to mean something negative, however. We often think ordinary is boring, nothing special, even worthless, but ordinary can mean life is good and as it should be.  Often, getting through a regular day has enough adventure of its own.  One statistic states that 60% of our day is composed of routine tasks so we need to make them count.  We can notice the sun on our face while we’re outdoors running errands, we can do a random act of kindness for someone, or we can make it a point to be more conscious of the beauty around us.  A few years ago there was a row of beautiful sunflowers in my neighborhood, so I walked over to take some photos.  We can find extraordinary moments in each day if we but notice.

Our daily routines give us a rhythm and flow I have only come to appreciate the older I get. When I was young, I thought most old people were in a rut.  I was looking to the ones that seemed more what psychologist Abraham Maslow referred to as self-actualized.  Now I know that rhythm and flow can give us more peace and security, more contentment.  Routines reduce our stress because we know what to expect.  It’s nice not to have to face a crisis or big decision every day. That is the beauty of an ordinary day.  Life is easier when we don’t have to think about our every move and we know our toothpaste will be there when we reach for it.

We do God’s will in the midst of ordinary.  It is our earthly calling. Many saints of old and monks in monasteries today live simple lives offering their mundane tasks, such as routine cooking and cleaning, up to God.  We need to learn to welcome the ordinary and seek God there because most of our moments really are quite ordinary.  If we can’t find the meaning and magic in the mundane, we will miss so much of what life and God has for us.

So don’t curse the boring and the ordinary, it is often a good place to be!  Don’t get wrapped up in always looking for something better or greater, because it is in the simple, regular moments of our lives that we can find meaning and God.  So go embrace the ordinary!  You will be richer for it.

Quit Grumbling and Complaining?

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January 8, 2024

I know I should be thankful I have enough food to eat, but four days after Christmas I was still eating multitudes of mushrooms.  I don’t like mushrooms.  I barely tolerate them.  Yet every Polish food item we bought this year had mushrooms.  Mushroom pierogis, mushroom dumplings, mushroom soup.  I was ready to pull my hair out!

I walked around grumbling about crumbs and feeling like the Israelites eating manna in the desert.  I can totally relate.  

Mushrooms, every single day.  Although 4 days doesn’t compare to 40 years, I don’t understand why God would get mad at the Israelites for being tired of eating manna.  Wouldn’t He have liked some variety once in a while?   (Exodus 16:1-36)

Their complaining probably angered Him because He was the provider of all their needs and got them out of Egypt, and yet they were not thankful or appreciative enough.  We are all like the Israelites sometimes.    

Along with my mushroom “manna”, every sink in my house has been giving out.  First it was the kitchen sink spraying water all over the place since before Thanksgiving.  It’s like I was taking a shower and simultaneously washing the walls every time I turned it on.  At least the walls are clean.

The last straw was when the bathroom sink started the same thing while brushing my teeth!!  How much can a person take?  (In case you are wondering, I found out the aerator on the bottom of faucets needs to be replaced periodically.) So guess what my husband finally went shopping for?  He even ordered an aerator from the kitchen sink manufacturer and it came the very NEXT day!!  I had suffered too long.  

Even when I tried NOT to eat mushrooms, it didn’t work out so well.  I decided to eat some scrambled eggs with leftover Swedish pancakes.  A refreshing contrast, I hoped.  But alas, I found mysterious gray strands in the syrup on the pancakes I was eating.  MOLD?!  Whatever it was, I wasn’t going to eat any more of it!  Perhaps God was teaching me a lesson for dissing the mushrooms.  He did get mad at the Israelites, after all. 

All these are very minor annoyances in the grand scheme of life, but every day it seems like there is just one annoying thing after another, pounding on me like a hammer.  Like today, I get ready to eat some cereal and I find my unopened container of milk is leaking in the fridge so I had to dump it, clean up and switch my menu.  It’s like somebody is trying to tell me something. 

Let’s get psychological about this for a moment.  Is my dissatisfaction serving some need?  Am I enjoying complaining? Could I make the choice to not let life’s annoyances bother me?  Perhaps, but I am not one to suffer in silence.  There is some value in venting.  So I think complaining does have a purpose and can get you what you want if you know where to draw the line or are persistent enough. 

Even God broke down and gave the Israelites some meat for a month after all their complaining.  Although He made sure He gave them so much meat they couldn’t stand it anymore!  Variety is the spice of life I say.   (Numbers 11:1-35)

Complaining did serve a purpose in my case.  It got my husband fed up enough to buy the doggone aerators.  Persistence can pay off.  Remember the parable of the persistent widow in the Bible?  Her persistence paid off just because the judge became weary of her continuous asking.  She didn’t give up until she got what she wanted.  I say, “You go, girl!”  (Luke 18:1-8)

And then there’s Luke 11:5-8 which is the story of the man who bothers his friend at midnight for some bread.  The man and his children are already in bed and he did not want to be disturbed.  Jesus says, “I tell you if he does not get up to give him the loaves because of their friendship, he will get up to give him whatever he needs because of his persistence.”

As illustrated, persistence can be a good thing.  We need it to succeed in life, but how often do we quit before we reach our desired goal or outcome?   

Upon reading further in Luke, Jesus shows us we also need persistence in prayer.  There have been things I have had to pray for for years before I received an answer.  Therefore, persistence can help increase our faith.

Complaining often gets a bad rap, but it can pay off. Businesses, like the kitchen faucet place, have Customer Service departments. The legal system also deals with complaints, and a “no” can turn into a “yes” with the right argument.

Also, some people are better at getting results than others. My son has a knack for complaints resulting in positive outcomes. One time he had reservations at a restaurant and had to wait an extra 20 minutes. He made a formal complaint and was rewarded with a $100 gift card of which I was the happy recipient of a free lunch. There is a time for everything. Sometimes there is even a time for complaining.

It’s a new year.  I never do resolutions.  To be honest, I don’t think I am at the point where I am serious about giving up my grumbling and complaining either.  But, it’s something to think about in case I get inspired to turn over a new leaf.  Wish me luck.  And next year I am going to make sure we do better holiday meal planning with far less mushrooms!! It will be one less thing to complain about.

The Power of Laundry

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I bought a sign for my laundry area at the dollar store recently that reads, “Laundry, sorting out life one load at a time.”  It just spoke to me so I didn’t think twice about grabbing it.  Words of wisdom found at the dollar store!  Hooray!  Laundry truly is a lot like life, isn’t it?  

Don’t we all have many loads at a time to deal with, whether it be laundry or life’s burdens? Don’t we sometimes feel like “throwing in the towel”? (Which would just create more laundry.)

Perhaps sometimes we feel like we are on the spin cycle.  Everything is too much.  We feel like we are getting tossed about, everything moving too fast.  Our lives and minds spinning out of control.  Where is the stop button??  Pull out the plug! 

We have all had times like that.  I feel dizzy just thinking about it.

In life, as with laundry, we have to sort things out.  There are decisions to be made.  Big things like where to work, where to live, how to treat an illness, as well as all the little things on our to-do list, such as what to make for dinner.  So it is with laundry, we must sort the colors or they bleed and we end up with a big, ugly mess, a heap of ruin.  Not looking at all like what we had wanted or hoped.

Mom Moment when
college kids return
home for Christmas.

We wash one load at a time and then it is clean (and maybe put away) but there will always be another load to take its place.  One thing you can be sure of, laundry is certain to pile up again, a healthy sign of life lived.  Laundry doesn’t disappoint, it always returns, like a dear and loyal friend. 

My son played baseball for many years.  I would dread washing his baseball uniform as there were always grass stains to deal with.  I had to find the right stain remover and scrub and scrub and hope for the best.  Life, too, will stain us.  We need to try to scrub away our bad habits and failings. As humans, we all carry the stain of sin.  But Jesus, our Savior, has bled for us and will wash us clean if we ask.  “If we acknowledge our sins, He is faithful and just, and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from every wrong-doing.”  (I John 1:9)

Picture the laundry rinse cycle or standing in a refreshing downpour, drenching us and cleansing us.  I have a Precious Moments picture I stitched in my bathroom that says, “He cleansed my soul”.   O how sweet it is.  “Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions.  Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.”  (Psalm 51:1-2)  Also words the priest prays during Catholic mass.

Laundry also has to get hung up or dried.  Life often hangs us up. Time passes, clothes become out of style or worn and so do we.  We get wrinkled, physically and figuratively.  We may have to iron out the wrinkles now and then.  Hopefully we won’t get put away like the clothes, or left in a forgotten heap.  

Personally, I don’t mind doing laundry.  Menial tasks are the stuff of ordinary life with their own rhythm and flow.  Plus they are great procrastination tools.   Nothing like vacuuming when I am putting off something else.  But I must admit I was glad when all of my kids were away at college doing their own laundry.  Sorting out the fabric and colors of their own lives.  It is no longer my job. 

In doing a bit of research on laundry, I came across a business called “Life Without Laundry”.   At the top of the website they ask, “Can you imagine a Life Without Laundry?” and then they list services for pick up, delivery, etc. so that you don’t ever have to do your own laundry.

My answer to that is “no thank you”!  I can’t imagine a life without laundry. 

I prefer not to hand over my dirty laundry to someone else.  I will deal with my own loads and relish every minute.  The dirty and the clean.  The wet and the wrinkled.  It is part of my cleansing journey.  It is my load to carry and mine alone.  No one else knows how to sort out the fabric of my life. 

So my advice is to appreciate those loads of laundry piling up, for you never know what treasures you may find.  People have been known to find money in their pockets they have forgotten about. My son once got a new phone because I washed and ruined the one he left in his pants pocket!

I think I will go hunt down some laundry now!  What about you?

Here’s a snippet of inspo I found along the way:

https://www.loyolapress.com/catholic-resources/liturgical-year/lent/ash-wednesday/life-laundry/

Wait!  There’s more!  Here are some tips for your laundry day pleasure!

https://tide.com/en-us/how-to-wash-clothes/how-to-remove-stains

https://assets.ctfassets.net/ajjw8wywicb3/1nid5bL6SmTJiy0ACpJZ9c/66ab4c2f45f25d8e5171c90205f79cb0/Tide-Your-Guide-to-Decoding-Laundry-Symbols.pdf

Mindful Pancakes

On a recent trip out of town we had three great choices of where to go out for breakfast.  We ended up at the place I rarely get a chance to visit that has a country shop I love, yet I was still thinking maybe we were missing something better at the other possibilities.  One place was highly recommended by my daughter’s boyfriend who eats there weekly, and the free hotel breakfast was also better than usual that day, so I was feeling rather tormented.

Normally, I would be ranting endlessly about how we should have chosen one of the other places because I am always seeking perfection, which is not possible this side of heaven.  However, this time I actually made the conscious, mindful choice of just trying to be satisfied where I was.  Satisfied that I was at this particular place in time, even though the menu choices weren’t overflowing with things I would have preferred.  I decided to just enjoy the unseasonably warm day on the road and the time with my husband and the blessing that we were there, together.  Not to mention it also spared my husband a lot of grief to not have to listen to my typical indecisive rant, setting a better tone for the rest of the day.

As it turned out, the pancakes I ordered were probably the best I ever ate!  They were SO delicious!  Crunchy, yet fluffy and moist!!  I thought, wow, we ended up at the right place after all, and it was as if I was rewarded for my efforts to be content (which believe me, is no easy task!) My husband had tasted the pancakes off my plate and he loved them too and kept stealing bites!  I even saved the leftovers and ate them later in the car. Turns out he bought a box of their special pancake mix to bring home but I bet they won’t taste as good as the ones we ate that warm, fall day.

And so it goes…….how to be mindful in the moment and satisfied that no matter what life brings we are supposed to be in that time and place, appreciating the little blessings in each day or accepting whatever difficulties come our way.  I will see if I can keep this up and turn over a new leaf, as I write this while the autumn leaves are turning colors and falling.

Phillipians 2:14  “Do everything without grumbling or questioning,..”

Time to Laugh or Cry?

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I’m not a Jolly Jane when I wake up in the morning.  All my problems and worries immediately come flooding into my brain. Or, I am angrily awakened by neighborhood noise such as garbage trucks, landscapers, or birds chirping in the nest they decided to build right outside my bedroom window.  My sentiment is frequently something like: Ugh, another depressing day on planet earth.  I didn’t ask to be here.

I tend to lean negative so I doubt I will ever be one of those people who excitedly jumps out of bed ready to greet a new day. I guess I can’t help but see reality.  A teacher I would share my woes with in high school would tell me, “Life isn’t always a bowl of cherries, sometimes it’s the pits!”  Exactly.  I don’t like to sugar-coat things. 

Growing up, I was influenced, albeit a little too much, by my grandmother who repeatedly warned in German, “After laughing comes crying!”  (Nach dem Lachen kommt das Weinen.)  In other words, don’t get too happy because something bad is right around the corner to steal your joy.  As if being a punishment for daring to be happy.  I suppose this is understandable from someone who had a difficult life and survived World War I and II.

To this day, I commonly walk around with a sense of doom hanging over me.  Joyce Meyer calls it “evil forebodings”.   A nagging feeling that something terrible could happen at any moment.  

This kind of thinking does paralyze a person and sometimes prevents them from getting things done.  It also makes for stressful vacations.

“Be sober and vigilant.  Your opponent the devil is prowling around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” 
1 Peter 5:8

Many years ago, someone suggested I flip the words in my grandmother’s saying to “After crying comes laughing”.  I was stunned.  I never thought of that!  Yet at the same time, I was also kind of angry.  That’s not how the saying goes! 

Maybe I wasn’t ready to hear that back then.  That one phrase was so ingrained in me and had taken over my life for so long.  It takes a lot of concerted effort to change thoughts and habits we have had for years.  I think I only recently made the connection that there is a Bible verse that is the exact opposite of my grandmother’s words!  “Those who sow in tears shall reap in joy.” (Psalm 126:5)  It’s amazing!  Can it actually work the other way around?

I am further reminded of the man in the Bible that was healed at the pool of Bethesda.  He had been sick for 38 years.  He sure was stuck in his situation.  Jesus approached him and asked him, “Do you want to be healed”?  The man replied by saying he couldn’t get his mat into the healing waters and that there was no one to help him, but he did want to be healed.  (John 5:1-15)          

Maybe you are stuck in a bad job, a bad relationship, or have a chronic illness.  Whatever it is, there are many reasons that can keep us “sick” or stuck.  We must ask ourselves:  Do we want to get well?  Do we want things to change?  At what cost?  It may not just be due to a lack of courage or laziness.  Is our “sickness” serving some purpose or benefit?  

If we do want to be healed, we must “pick up our mat” as Jesus instructed the man at the pool of Bethesda.  Getting up and walking, is the first step on the journey to recovery or change.  It’s not always easy or instant, but it is possible.

Ironically, I wrote much of this article before I got out of bed one morning and when I went downstairs my husband greeted me in a jollier than usual mood with “Life is good.  You will be having a fantastic breakfast I am going to make for you.”  Seemed like one of those God coincidences to me.  Something horrible doesn’t always have to be around the corner. Maybe we can just enjoy life.

Jesus offers us healing for our bodies and our souls.  Do we want to laugh again after crying?  Do we want to reap joy after sorrow? Jesus asks all of us, “Do you want to be healed?

So let us say with David in Psalm 30, “Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning.”

Remember to be Thankful

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Nov. 18, 2022

“Rejoice always. Pray without ceasing. In all circumstances give thanks, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.”  (1 Thessalonians: 16-18)

‘Tis the season for Thanksgiving.  A holiday most everyone in America seems to celebrate, no matter their religious beliefs.  The time to think about what we are grateful for.  It sounds so cliché.  A gratitude journal?  Been there, done that. 

Probably a better way to cultivate gratitude is to make it a habit so that it becomes second nature.  This is, of course, easier said than done.  Perhaps we should have a gratitude buddy, like an exercise buddy, to keep us accountable all year long.

A good place to start, is by being thankful in the everyday mundane stuff of life.  Many years ago, when I was on bed rest, pregnant with triplets, I wasn’t allowed to do much of anything. I was thankfully(!) allowed to take a daily shower.  But that was it.   It got to the point where I was longing to do even the simplest task, like washing dishes.  That would have been sheer bliss! 

It was then that I vowed to always remember what a blessing it is to be able to do something as simple as washing dishes.  This challenge was put to the test soon after, when I found myself endlessly washing baby bottles because we had no dishwasher. I think a person could go to heaven just for that!  I am happy to report that I still frequently remember to be thankful when I wash those dirty dishes.  A trick that can also help is putting a picture of Jesus by the kitchen sink.    

“Each small task of everyday life is part of the total harmony of the universe.” 

St. Therese of Lisieux

Another challenge of the above scripture verse is, “in ALL circumstances give thanks.”  That doesn’t mean just when times are good, it means even when tragedy strikes or we just don’t feel like it.  It takes discipline to make gratitude a habit, but it will help us in the long run and can provide health benefits as well.  

I really enjoy the following video by Fr. Mark Goring, which is about praying while grocery shopping.  Maybe it will inspire you and be something to keep in mind while shopping for our Thanksgiving feasts.  It is a reminder that every occasion in life is an opportunity to practice gratitude and that our prayers can have far-reaching effects.

May we, then, humbly make this our prayer:

“O Jesus, eternal God, thank You for Your countless graces and blessings.  Let every beat of my heart be a new hymn of thanksgiving to You, O God.”

From the Diary of Saint Maria Faustina Kowalska, Divine Mercy in My Soul, entry 1794

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