Parenthood

My Journey from Death to Life

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In His hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind.

Job 12:10

This isn’t an article I want to write, but feel I need to write.

Many years ago when the topic of abortion was perhaps less charged than it is today, I considered myself pro-choice.  Why shouldn’t a woman have the right to choose what to do with her own body?  (But in actuality, she is temporarily housing someone else’s body.)

I went to college in the days when The Feminine Mystique, by Betty Friedan, and other feminist writings were popular. Freshmen were required to enroll in a “reading” class on feminism. Granted, it was a women’s college, but it was still heavily biased in only one direction.  Funny how these modern-day “feminists” are now silent on biological men in women’s sports and various other issues pertaining to women.  But I digress.

In the current culture, crazed women dress up like female body parts screaming in the streets for their right to kill while not even knowing what a woman actually is!  Mystifying.

In contrast, elderly women are being arrested for praying near abortion clinics, and actual criminals are allowed to go free, even within our own government.  How backwards things have become!

I also used to find it odd that Congress would argue about when life begins.  As if a bunch of politicians with their own agendas are the ones to be making this decision!  

We must remember legality is not necessarily morality.

Abortion is being called health care and a right, which it is neither. 

Today, abortion has become over-politicized.  (Just look at the Planned Parenthood free abortion truck outside the 2024 Chicago DNC. Demonic!)  So now a President should be elected based on their approval to kill?

The Sixth Commandment clearly states:  Thou shalt not kill.   It appears even most non-believers agree with this basic moral rule, or so I thought. 

It actually doesn’t matter if you believe in the Ten Commandments or not.  Truth is truth whether you believe it or not, like it or not, and even if no one believes it.

The sacrifice of so many human lives through abortion today is not unlike the child sacrifice to the pagan god Moloch in the Bible. (Leviticus 18:21; Jeremiah 32:35)

This disrespect for life and destruction of the family unit as God designed it is why we are where we are today.  And it’s not good.

In a society that displays a blatant disrespect for human life, it will only be a matter of time before they come for YOU.  They will find a reason.  Euthanasia is gaining momentum.  Killing babies and the most vulnerable is only the beginning.  (And don’t be fooled by the government suddenly caring about saving lives during a scamdemic or any other “crisis” deemed for your own good.)

But since things were never “nipped in the bud” way back when, they just continue to snowball.  Look how far we’ve gone into crazyville. 

Now the argument is whether you can kill a baby all the way up to birth and even beyond!! Has anyone ever heard of adoption?  Soon the country will be barely recognizable with all our values stripped and society eroded.

All these things make me realize ever more clearly how this movement of disrespecting life has overtaken society and is the undercurrent for much of the evil going on today.  Unfortunately, too many people just don’t see it.

It’s all so insane I can no longer ignore it.  And neither should you. 

WHAT FINALLY CHANGED MY MIND

What turned the tide for me was when New York lit up the One World Trade Center spires in pink on January 22, 2019 for the passage of The Reproductive Health Act on the 46th anniversary of Roe v. Wade.  It was unreal, to celebrate death of babies aka murder.  Seems the only thing people seem to want to celebrate these days is evil.

Also, as a mother of multiples (triplets) I was given the option by doctors to “reduce” my pregnancy on a number of occasions.  Selective reduction they called it. By the grace of God I did not do anything foolish.

Then when Roe v. Wade was overturned on June 24, 2022, the Feast of the Sacred Heart of Jesus no less, you would think churches would be ecstatic and celebrating from the rooftops encouraging more wins for life.  Sadly, that was not the case, at least not where I live.  

Unfortunately the churches, which should be very vocal on issues of life and death, are pretty silent (except during scamdemics). Most churches won’t touch abortion claiming it’s a political issue.  How wrong they are.  It is a spiritual and moral issue.

It all boils down to people not wanting consequences for their actions, they want to have their cake and eat it too but it doesn’t work that way.  And whatever happened to healthy shame?  That thing called your conscience, that can sometimes keep people out of bad situations. 

The beginning of wisdom is fear of the Lord.

Proverbs 9:10

When abortion is perceived as a quick fix, fleshly desires can be quenched because you can just get an abortion after all. However, abortion is not without risk, physical and psychological.  The effects can be lasting.  Some women even die.

And where is the man’s right in all of this?  It takes two to tango.  What if he wants to keep the baby?  I do not know what legal rights the father has but I imagine it probably varies based on location.

Alternatives to abortion such as ABSTINENCE or adoption, no longer seem to be part of the conversation.

TOWARD THE FUTURE

I still feel like this is a journey for me, as it is for many, but at least I am headed in the right direction.  Everyone has their unique story, even women who have had abortions.  I’m not judging anyone.

We have to remember some people just aren’t there yet and some never will be….I wasn’t.  It often takes some kind of personal experience or aha moment to change your mind about things.  And sadly, some people just don’t want the truth and choose to remain on the side of evil.

Jesus has His followers and so does the devil. 

But, there is hope.  There are still people fighting for those who have no voice.  People can and do change their minds.  God’s mercy is always available if you sincerely open yourself up to it. 

All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.  (Romans 3:23)

So maybe, just maybe, I could change some minds or save a life with this article.  It’s a step in the right direction.

Some resources if you want to learn more or get involved in the fight for life:

National Right to Life Committee at nrlc.org 

priestsforlife.org  (Father) Frank Pavone

feministsforlife.org

studentsforlife.org

sbaprolife.org

Lila Rose at liveaction.org

Abby Johnson, Planned Parenthood clinic director turned pro-life at abbyj.com

operationrescue.org

sistersoflife.org

If Not Now, When?

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As a mother and wife, I have heard the words, “Not now” or “I’ll do it later” far too often.  It drives me crazy because when I ask someone to do something, that is when I want it done, not at a future time (or more likely, never).  I have a note jotted in frustration from 2012 while in the thick of raising four children.  It says:  ‘Not now’ is the answer to a lot of things around here! “Do your homework”.  Not now.  “Try on these pants I bought you.”  Not now.  To the husband, “Let’s just relax for a while.”  Not now.  Well if not now, WHEN??

I am reminded of Bartleby’s famous words “I would prefer not to” from the book Bartleby, the Scrivener by Herman Melville.  Bartleby remains expressionless as he responds, “I would prefer not to” to basically everything he is asked to do at work.  This is about the only thing I remember from college English and literature classes.  It struck a nerve.

I can’t help but wonder what God thinks when we don’t do what He asks.  I’ve heard it said He will find somebody else.  I think of that when I see many of my ideas taken flight by other people.  It took me 40 years, like the Israelites wandering around in the desert, to finally get around to doing some more writing.  I always felt a nagging sense that is what I needed to be doing.  Saying “I would prefer not to” to the master of the universe isn’t a good idea.  The ramifications are a lot worse than not taking out the garbage when asked, or not trying on those pants!

When I was younger, I would get so bent out of shape trying to discern God’s will for my life.  As if it were a one-time decision.  I couldn’t come up with anything that felt right (except maybe writing) and many doors were slammed shut in my face.  I still think I may have made the wrong decision when I was offered a newspaper writing job after high school and didn’t accept it.  I have always wondered what direction my life would have taken if I had.  I feel like I am living my “Plan B” because I missed that particular opportunity.  But who knows, I only have the present.  The past is gone and the future is not guaranteed.

Now being able to look back over the years, I think we have many purposes throughout our lives. God’s will is a continuous journey with many twists and turns along the way.  Many times I think I didn’t even realize a lot of the things I was doing were actually God’s will for that time or at the very least, laying the groundwork for the future.

For instance, I worked as a preschool teacher for a time, but only looking back realized it was part of the path God had for me because I ended up raising triplets plus a fourth child.  That time spent working with preschoolers prepared me for my vocation of motherhood.  I was able to use the skills I had developed to run my household.  Triplet babies needed a schedule, if for no other reason than my sanity.  We had meals, craft time, nap time, outside time, music time, story time.  I had an entire repertoire of crafts and activities at my fingertips.  I was ready for the challenge!

Sometimes even the waiting is part of God’s plan, because His timing is perfect, which I learned battling infertility.  Also, sometimes God has to prepare the other people that will be involved in our fulfilling His will.  There’s so much behind the scenes that we don’t know or may never know.  All this takes time, patience and trust that we are exactly where God wants us to be at that moment, even if it seems like nothing is happening.  Joyce Meyer, whose ministry helped me a lot during my infertility days, likes to say “Learn how to enjoy where you are on the way to where you’re going.”  That is another way of saying, live in the present.  

So how do we become motivated and get things done sooner rather than later?  After my 40 years of desert wandering, I am the last one to ask.  First, I think we have to want something bad enough.  Also, we need to conquer fears that may be holding us back.  But deadlines are my best motivator.  Now that my days on earth are obviously numbered, I feel more like I better get to writing if I don’t want to stand at the Pearly gates (which I just learned is derived from Revelation 21:21)  and have to say to God, “I was going to do it….later”.  I more and more want to be able to say, “I have competed well; I have finished the race; I have kept the faith.”  2 Tim. 4:7

So what is it you have been putting off?  Don’t put it off for 40 years like I did.  Whether it’s pursuing a career, improving your health, learning how to play an instrument, re-uniting with someone you are estranged from, whatever it is, there is no time like the present and that is why it’s fittingly called the “present”. The present is a gift, to ourselves and those around us, if we accept it and not let it sit idle. We should treasure and celebrate the present.  If not NOW, when??

Book:  The Present:  The Gift that Makes you Happier and More Successful at Work and in Life, Today!  by Spencer Johnson

https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/21-instant-ways-to-live-in-the-moment.html

Take No Offense

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I wonder what happened to the common phrase I heard throughout my childhood, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.”  Seeing how youth come out of universities these days, it should be taught on every college campus.  Instead, academia is raising “snowflakes”.  Young people who can’t tolerate an opinion different from their own or without feeling threatened or triggered.

Everything offends them.  Well, maybe not all of them, but dare I say, the majority of them.  I can tell a recent college graduate a mile away.  My own children have not come out unscathed. College students are taught they need “safe spaces” to survive any slight or difference of opinion.  These are rooms or places they can go to when they feel “offended”.  There they can cuddle stuffed animals, pound on playdough, color, and most importantly, cry.   There are even specific cry rooms at some universities.  I thought “cry rooms” were for babies at churches.  I was also surprised to find some schools literally have a facebook group of places to go cry, complete with maps.   “Places to cry at CWRU” is one such example.

One problem with all of this is that it promotes victim mentality.  They are the victims and the other person or group is the perpetrator.  This can also be seen in our government, justice system and even churches.  It also prevents kids from growing up and makes them less able to solve problems in the real world.  Playing the victim becomes an easy way out of responsibility and a way to gain attention, or get what you want.  It can also foster moral superiority.   

Of course sometimes a person truly is a victim of a crime or abuse, but I’m not talking about physical safety here, which every human being deserves at all times.  Obviously no one should be throwing “sticks or stones”, or even worse, at anyone.  And students with real and serious mental health issues should definitely seek help.  But a lot of this is sheer nonsense.  Things have gone too far.  Everyone is offended with everything.  It has become a way to control how others think, speak, act and feel.  This is NOT appropriate. 

Unfortunately, universities pay staff excessive salaries to promote this kind of garbage and more.  They encourage the notion that any discomfort cannot be tolerated, yet life is uncomfortable sometimes.  Growing into an adult isn’t all fun and games, there is some pain involved.  Pain and discomfort is necessary for growth, and that goes for all of us.

College is supposed to be about learning, about interacting with all kinds of other viewpoints, about preparing for your future career.  Thinking, discussing, debating helps you learn and grow.  It helps you understand where someone else is coming from, and perhaps even results in reformulating your own opinions.  It is NOT to demand that everyone should think and speak the same way or according to some current cultural agenda.  Freedom of speech must be protected at all costs, even if it makes some uncomfortable.

Instead of arming kids with confidence to go out into the world and slay the giants, they are taught the giants are trying to slay them! However, isn’t that what the current cultural agenda wants?  To create as many weak, dependent, unquestioning followers because then they can be controlled.  Dumb the kids down and make them weaker, not stronger, all in the name of some delusion of equity.  

So where has sanity gone?  Is it hiding in the cry room??  I don’t think so. The Bible states, “And then many will be offended, will betray one another, and will hate one another.  Then many false prophets will rise up and deceive many.  And because lawlessness will abound the love of many will grow cold.  But he who endures to the end shall be saved.”  (Matt. 24:10-13 NKJV)  

It’s not just the college kids that get offended either.  I see plenty of adults who get offended at the slightest thing.  Either adults are getting touchier or maybe they are learning the wrong things from their offspring.  Whatever happened to turn the other cheek, kill them with kindness, forgiveness, telling someone calmly how you feel, or just ignoring someone or walking away if you are offended or don’t like something?

We can all benefit from being less touchy.  Certainly we can always try to fine-tune our behavior, treat everyone with respect, love your neighbor as yourself, be kinder, but victim mentality has become all too common everywhere you look, and it’s doing far more harm than good.

So if you are offended by this article, perhaps you need to go find a safe space or cry room and let the rest of society live their lives, the good, the bad and the ugly, the insults, wounds and bruises.  Because that is how we all learn and grow, and even heal. Not by playing the victim or hiding in a cry closet.   

Personally, I’d rather run into the loving arms of Jesus as my safe space.  How about you?       

If you are the parent of a college student or soon-to-be one, check out:

http://campusreform.org

http://thecollegefix.com

You will learn a lot about what is going on these days. Choose wisely!

The Power of Laundry

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I bought a sign for my laundry area at the dollar store recently that reads, “Laundry, sorting out life one load at a time.”  It just spoke to me so I didn’t think twice about grabbing it.  Words of wisdom found at the dollar store!  Hooray!  Laundry truly is a lot like life, isn’t it?  

Don’t we all have many loads at a time to deal with, whether it be laundry or life’s burdens? Don’t we sometimes feel like “throwing in the towel”? (Which would just create more laundry.)

Perhaps sometimes we feel like we are on the spin cycle.  Everything is too much.  We feel like we are getting tossed about, everything moving too fast.  Our lives and minds spinning out of control.  Where is the stop button??  Pull out the plug! 

We have all had times like that.  I feel dizzy just thinking about it.

In life, as with laundry, we have to sort things out.  There are decisions to be made.  Big things like where to work, where to live, how to treat an illness, as well as all the little things on our to-do list, such as what to make for dinner.  So it is with laundry, we must sort the colors or they bleed and we end up with a big, ugly mess, a heap of ruin.  Not looking at all like what we had wanted or hoped.

Mom Moment when
college kids return
home for Christmas.

We wash one load at a time and then it is clean (and maybe put away) but there will always be another load to take its place.  One thing you can be sure of, laundry is certain to pile up again, a healthy sign of life lived.  Laundry doesn’t disappoint, it always returns, like a dear and loyal friend. 

My son played baseball for many years.  I would dread washing his baseball uniform as there were always grass stains to deal with.  I had to find the right stain remover and scrub and scrub and hope for the best.  Life, too, will stain us.  We need to try to scrub away our bad habits and failings. As humans, we all carry the stain of sin.  But Jesus, our Savior, has bled for us and will wash us clean if we ask.  “If we acknowledge our sins, He is faithful and just, and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from every wrong-doing.”  (I John 1:9)

Picture the laundry rinse cycle or standing in a refreshing downpour, drenching us and cleansing us.  I have a Precious Moments picture I stitched in my bathroom that says, “He cleansed my soul”.   O how sweet it is.  “Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions.  Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.”  (Psalm 51:1-2)  Also words the priest prays during Catholic mass.

Laundry also has to get hung up or dried.  Life often hangs us up. Time passes, clothes become out of style or worn and so do we.  We get wrinkled, physically and figuratively.  We may have to iron out the wrinkles now and then.  Hopefully we won’t get put away like the clothes, or left in a forgotten heap.  

Personally, I don’t mind doing laundry.  Menial tasks are the stuff of ordinary life with their own rhythm and flow.  Plus they are great procrastination tools.   Nothing like vacuuming when I am putting off something else.  But I must admit I was glad when all of my kids were away at college doing their own laundry.  Sorting out the fabric and colors of their own lives.  It is no longer my job. 

In doing a bit of research on laundry, I came across a business called “Life Without Laundry”.   At the top of the website they ask, “Can you imagine a Life Without Laundry?” and then they list services for pick up, delivery, etc. so that you don’t ever have to do your own laundry.

My answer to that is “no thank you”!  I can’t imagine a life without laundry. 

I prefer not to hand over my dirty laundry to someone else.  I will deal with my own loads and relish every minute.  The dirty and the clean.  The wet and the wrinkled.  It is part of my cleansing journey.  It is my load to carry and mine alone.  No one else knows how to sort out the fabric of my life. 

So my advice is to appreciate those loads of laundry piling up, for you never know what treasures you may find.  People have been known to find money in their pockets they have forgotten about. My son once got a new phone because I washed and ruined the one he left in his pants pocket!

I think I will go hunt down some laundry now!  What about you?

Here’s a snippet of inspo I found along the way:

https://www.loyolapress.com/catholic-resources/liturgical-year/lent/ash-wednesday/life-laundry/

Wait!  There’s more!  Here are some tips for your laundry day pleasure!

https://tide.com/en-us/how-to-wash-clothes/how-to-remove-stains

https://assets.ctfassets.net/ajjw8wywicb3/1nid5bL6SmTJiy0ACpJZ9c/66ab4c2f45f25d8e5171c90205f79cb0/Tide-Your-Guide-to-Decoding-Laundry-Symbols.pdf

The Swing

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I used to always say, “Mother feels best when everyone’s in the nest.”  Well, nowadays the nest has been mostly empty which is mostly good, but there are still lots of times when I am restless and worry about all of my “birdies”.

My youngest used to sit on the backyard swing for hours at a time.  She helped her dad rebuild the swing section of the outdoor play set because she has loved to swing and rock since Day One, plus these days she likes to build things and use power tools. When she was little, she had a green plastic rocking horse we had to take everywhere she went for the first few years of her life until she no longer fit on it.  Now, swinging is still her comfort but also her thinking and alone time (and even sing-on-the-swing time).

It would often aggravate me how much time she would spend out on that swing, even in the cold and rain, even during her college summers.  But recently when I looked at that swing from my kitchen window, I was sad to see it sitting idle and I thought of the song, “Puff the Magic Dragon” by Peter, Paul and Mary and it melted me to tears.  How I wished she was still sitting out there.  Memories of days gone by flooded over me.

Jackie Paper, the boy in the song, visits Puff the Magic Dragon by the sea and they have imaginary adventures together until one day, “Jackie Paper came no more”.  He grew up.  The dragon was sad, just like this mama.  But alas, as necessary, I did my job. 

Mama may feel best when everyone is in the nest, but they can’t stay there. There is an entire world to explore. They fly away as they should. 

By the looks of that empty swing, it appears my youngest birdie has successfully flown out of the nest, soon to graduate from college.  It’s a bittersweet time that moves me to tears and emotion as I write this.  But all mamas have been there, in the land of Honah Lee, just like Puff. 

Broken Kites

St. Patrick’s Day, 2009

Today I learned that people are fragile, just like kites. Easily torn and broken.

It was an unseasonably warm, almost spring kind of day. The wind was fairly strong, as is typical in March. My youngest daughter, who seemed to have a flair for physics, had been constructing homemade kites out of tissue paper, popsicle sticks and tin foil. Her artistic side added beautiful ribbons and bows for tails, but the kites didn’t really fly all too well, even when she stood on the picnic table to help them along. So alas, I journeyed to the store in search of kites.

I found some colorful kites of varying shapes and sizes in the toy department at the store, and my four kids were excited to try them out right away. Unfortunately, we were so impatient we made the mistake of trying to fly them in front of the house where there were lots of trees.

My youngest had the grand idea of flying her kite while riding her bike. That turned into a big tangled mess in the bike spokes, chain and handlebars resulting in her crying and running into the house.

Meanwhile, one of her older sisters and my son were doing a pretty good job navigating their kites around the trees, when my other daughter got hers stuck so badly in the tree that it took a ladder and a pole saw to chop off the entire branch the kite was stuck in! And so another child ran into the house crying!

What a nightmare it was! I was left feeling like the worst ogre mother in the universe because needless to say, I was not taking all of this very well. Who knew kites could provoke so much emotion!

Just like kites, life can become a tangled mess. We can easily become torn and broken. We can get stuck, waiting for someone to rescue us like a kite out of a tree. We must hold the kite tightly to anchor it or it will blow off into the wind like a loose balloon with no destiny.

So the question becomes, what is our anchor when life gets all tangled up and messy? Is it in Christ who holds us tightly if we let Him? Or do we run to something else that is not lasting or another flawed human who cannot possibly fill all our needs?

With a lot of patience and no obstructions, a kite will soar and fly beautifully, but that can only happen if it is anchored in someone’s skilled hand.

To this day, many years later, I still feel sad about how badly I handled that March day. It didn’t turn out all happy and delightful like the song, “Let’s Go Fly a Kite” in the movie Mary Poppins, but it is important to learn from our mistakes and move on and fly high, just like kites are supposed to do.

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