Psychology – Musings

Are You Using Your Potential?

Some claim it’s a myth we only use ten percent of our potential. I don’t know how this can be accurately measured, but how much of your potential do you think you use? My guess is most of us only tap into a small part of our potential at any given time even though our brains contain 100 billion neurons!

The days blend into weeks, months and then years and perhaps we feel like we accomplish so little besides trying to get through another day. Is that enough? Quite frankly, some days it is.

There is an I Love Lucy episode that hits the nail on the head as far as potential goes. Lucy has set out to bake bread and decides to use 13 cakes of yeast rather than the three the recipe called for, assuming more has got to be better. As we can see in the clip, that isn’t always the case and not what should be motivating us.

Tiny granules of yeast have the potential to make things rise but things didn’t turn out too well for Lucy as we see in the exaggerated size of her loaf of bread.

In birthing our potential, we have to grow from within, like the yeast. This is not always fun, for the oven is hot, but if we wait the required amount of time, we will reap the results. We must keep the end goal in sight, scrumptious perfectly golden bread.

Jesus teaches about potential first in the Parable of the Mustard Seed and then again in the Parable of the Yeast! (Matt 13:31-33)

With potential also comes responsibility. Humans have the potential to do good or evil. There are two sides to every coin. Either the seed is sown and grows tall and strong, or it withers without the right conditions and care. If the yeast is at exatly the right temperature, it spreads within the bread causing it to properly rise, but if the yeast is put in too high a temperature, it dies and the bread will turn out flat as a pancake. One bad seed can spoil the whole batch.

But maybe achieving our potential isn’t about doing great, amazing things each day and making new discoveries for the world to behold. Maybe the potential in each day is much simpler than that, like going grocery shopping for your family, being kind to a stranger, tending to your home or job responsibilities—wherever you are planted for that day. Most days in life aren’t going to be skyrockets and fireworks exciting.

St. Therese of Lisieux and her Little Way says: “Remember that nothing is small in the eyes of God. Do all that you do with love.” and Mother Teresa of Calcutta is known for saying: “Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.” and “It’s not about how much you do, but how much love you put into what you do that counts.” Both these saints were proponents of simplicity in life and fulfilled their potential through their daily tasks.

But as comforting as the words from these two great saints sound, I often feel like it justifies copping out. It’s almost too simple so when I lack motivation, their words can allow me to be satisfied with mediocrity rather than striving to grow or attain a goal. It can be good to have at least a bit of dissatisfaction in life or we won’t aim higher.

So how do we become motivated to reach our potential when it is easier to just cop out or procrastinate since there are always a myriad of distractions and excuses?

WAYS TO STAY MOTIVATED TO REACH YOUR POTENTIAL

First, we need to step out of our comfort zone. Don’t get stuck in a daily rut. Try new things once in a while.

Second, we need to discipline ourselves not to waste too much time on things that rob our time such as technology.

Also, try to turn your fears and weaknesses into your greatest strengths or at least find ways to work around them. If you have a rebellious streak, turn that into something positive and be bold toward a cause you are passionate about.

Find a mentor if appropriate, or analyze what successful people you admire have done.

Learn how to do things you never thought you could do in order to achieve your goals. Consider taking a class to learn new skills.

Create actual concrete goals. The SMART Framework is a popular method used by businesses.

And the most important piece of advice: NEVER GIVE UP!

In the end, it’s the tiny seeds we plant each day that matter, as the saints realized. We don’t always see the growth of our efforts as they are taking place, just as the farmer doesn’t stand over his seeds until they grow into a mature crop. He keeps busy sowing more seed or he won’t reap a harvest.

I suspect most of us never use 100 percent of our potential at any given time in life, but we can keep trying to use our gifts in the small moments of each day. Don’t be satisfied to just survive, but thrive as you inch closer to your goals. And remember to be kind to yourself if you feel defeated, tomorrow is another day.

Stay Home, Waste Lives

Culture, Psychology, Spirituality

Fear and anxiety have walked beside me basically my entire life. Friends they are not, however during the covid fiasco my biggest albatross became my greatest gift.

Suddenly, it felt like my life was turned inside out as I watched in horror as the entire world reacted in fear. I knew what it was like to be a prisoner of fear. I often felt like I was on the inside looking out at everyone else who appeared free from the chains that kept me bound.

It was a very ominous, undescribable feeling, like I was watching a horror film or living in a dystopian world. But oddly, I felt more fearless than ever in an insane world.

The eeriness of parks, schools, churches and businesses being closed was deeply disturbing. Basketball hoops were removed from parks and swings were chained up, discouraging children from playing outside.

Schools sat empty. For shame teachers unions, you are supposed to care about kids. An entire generation of children now traumatized and academically behind, for what?

Entire cities that were once bustling and full of life were ghost towns.

All this was not normal, nor should it ever be.

People hiding in their houses, whether by choice or in some cases by force, were afraid to interact. If they dared to walk outdoors, they would cross to the other side just to avoid another person as if some invisible drop of death would fall upon them. Wearing masks they were grasping at straws to pacify their imaginations while they looked like zombies from another galaxy and acted like they belonged in a mental hospital. How could this happen? It was irrational. It made me realize more and more just how irrational fear was.

The world was reversed for me, while stay home–waste lives seemed to be the directive. People who always told me not to fear or that I worry too much, were now literally telling me to be afraid! The thing I spend my entire life trying NOT to be! How insane was that? They did not like my bravery now.

How far toward insanity has a society gone when fear is promoted and even considered virtuous? Something was obviously wrong when the media was promoting insanity and fear rather than saying, this is not right, we need to go about our lives.

Where were the health gurus or religious leaders telling us not to fear? Archbishop Carlo Maria Vigano, one of the few Catholic religious leaders that does speak out about the evil of our time, warned, “our enemy is not the virus, but the insanity of those who betray their duties to the detriment of the community.” Our rights were trampled and most people allowed it.

Because this plandemic (yes it was planned) was “unprecedented” –a word I abhor–people went along like glorious little obedient sheep because, quite simply, they were afraid of dying. I think when Jesus talks about sheep in the Bible, this is not what He means.

Many people put their faith in government and medical professionals they thought would save them, but had really duped them. Because people were afraid, they were unable to distinguish reality from fantasy or look at things logically or spiritually. Anyone who went against the evil narrative and followed truth was seen as a threat and cancelled. What happened to freedom of speech, much less thought?

According to mass formation psychosis theory, and just basic social psychology, the need to belong and be part of something bigger, had many people bound, gaslit and brainwashed. The world indeed had gone mad. I write more about this here. It’s unsettling how truth and reality can be twisted to become quite the opposite.

Yet however virtuous people thought they were, the bottom line was they were afraid of dying. The death rate is one hundred percent for all of us. No one will escape so why focus on one virus unless there is a nefarious reason?

Surprisingly, all my years of worry, anxiety, and fear had prepared me for this time as well as being a child of immigrants from the Nazi Germany era, which gave me a perspective many other people just did not have.

Never underestimate the destructive power of fear. It can bring down entire nations, as we have seen time and again. I saw crystal clearly the insanity of it all.

There is a Bible passage that says, “When I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:10) I never thought it possible, but my weakness became my strength during the plandemic.

Safety is an illusion. We are not safe until we are resting in the arms of Jesus. This does not mean we hide and cower in fear until then. There is work to be done as this insanity has so clearly proven.

Like a mother caring for a frightened child, God instructs us not to fear 365 times in the Bible, once for each day of the year. That is how serious the problem of fear is for us humans. The devil loves it when we are afraid and so do tyrants. (Notice the word “evil” inside the word devil.)

I remember when The Rose, a song sung by Bette Midler, was popular. It is on my playlist. It always spoke to me, especially the wise words, “…and the soul afraid of dying that never learns to live.” Feeling torn between being afraid to die and afraid to live is a terrible place to be. During the plandemic, people were afraid of dying, so they stopped living and were all too willing to give up their rights and God-given freedom for a bit of false security.

Many, if not all, fears ultimately stem from fear of death, either our own or our loved ones, but if we are Christians, we should have nothing to fear for Christ has conquered death and we will live life eternal.

“For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain.”
Phillipians 1:21

I wish I had an answer for fear and anxiety. I do not. It’s as old as humanity itself and part of the fallen human condition. Faith and support from others can help, as well as exercise and keeping busy to distract your mind from unwanted thoughts.

But it’s also sometimes a matter of adjusting and learning how to live with the handicaps we all have. It is an ongoing struggle that I consider my thorn in the flesh as St. Paul spoke of in 2 Corinthians 12:7-9. It keeps me going back to God because I know I am powerless on my own.

“I am the vine, you are the branches apart from me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5) God wasn’t kidding.

All we can do is try our best to seize the day and live one moment at a time and make sure we NEVER LET THIS INSANITY HAPPEN AGAIN.

Here is a way to get involved to make sure we retain our freedom: https://sovereigntycoalition.org/

Further Resources:

https://www.nami.org/About-Mental-Illness/Mental-Health-Conditions/Anxiety-Disorders

https://adaa.org

https://www.apa.org/topics/anxiety/panic-disorder

9 Tips to Combat Impatience

Patience, Psychology, Spirituality

Do you ever get impatient? We all do. I hate the thought of things taking time and the process of waiting. I know it’s inevitable but we are so used to instant everything from drive-thrus to social media scrolling, the world is at our fingertips. Like the old advertising motto for the yellow pages (remember those?) “Let your fingers do the walking.” Today, that rings truer than ever.

This is probably also why I don’t enjoy gardening (besides the dirt). Waiting is required. You have to wait so long for the stuff to grow and then it doesn’t. Or it gets destroyed by a nearby creature or your son’s baseball, or, in the case of my zucchini, eaten by worms. After all that effort you can end up with nothing or very little. I prefer “gardening lite” which consists of buying a hanging plant and putting it on a hook or planting a few flowers into pots which is strenuous enough.

Exercise is another thing that takes lots of time and perseverance. About the only physical activity I used to enjoy was swimming laps, but an aging body isn’t kind for that anymore. Exercise takes months and years of hard work and patience to build health benefits and muscles, if you ever do. Mostly, I have observed, you just end up with injuries to the overused joints and muscles with questionable or unmeasurable benefit. How worth it is that?

Cooking? Also not a fan. I often burn things while I am multi-tasking. To me, few foods are worth eating that are worth the time to make them. Maybe I need to invest in one of those “instant pots”.

Waiting for my dinosaur computer to load brings out my impatience like nothing else! Slow grocery store lines and deadlocked traffic jams are no treat either. If the power goes out, that is indeed the last straw. Not knowing the length of my long-suffering, is what does me in.

Our impatience gets fueled if we feel that we can’t control the situation, or if things don’t go the way we expect or when we expect. We get impatient with other people. We get impatient if we’re running late. It’s as if we have become slaves to time because we never seem to have enough of it.

Creativity is in order when things don’t go as planned. If we can pause and enter a calmer state, it will allow us to think more clearly about solutions or how to cope with the challenge at hand. This will lead to better decision-making and less unnecessary frustration or anger.

With so many situations that could set us off on any given day, we could change our perspective and focus instead on the things that are worth waiting for. That answer varies for each one of us, especially when it comes to gardening or exercise, yet there are some things in life most of us would still find worth the wait, such as the arrival of a newborn. We can’t speed up those nine months, but we can prepare as we wait with joyful expectancy. (I can assure you, I was not multi-tasking while delivering babies!)

Building relationships, like marriage, takes times but is well worth the effort. It’s not an accident one of the most popular Bible readings at weddings is 1 Corinthians 13:4 Love is patient love is kind.

Building your business or future nest egg is a good reason to exercise patience and clear thinking.

Don’t let impatience cause you to miss opportunities or just the simple pleasures in each day like stopping to enjoy a flower garden or even the floral area of your favorite grocery store.

However, there are still those times when we don’t have a choice but to be patient because waiting is necessary or can’t be prevented. Dealing with an illness or injury, hunting for a job, or serious problems our children may be facing are things we cannot control. We would like a quick fix, but can’t know how long the situation will last. Sometimes we just have to suffer through adversity as best we can.

It is said patience is a virtue but apparently even pharmaceutical companies have no patience when they release injections or medicines to market well before the time needed to research them properly for safety, as we have recently seen with the plandemic. You can’t speed up time when time is what is needed. The goal of astronomical profits clouds their better judgment.

So, we need to discern whether our impatience is serving a good purpose or not. There are those times when impatience can be a good thing. It can spur us on to finish something that really needs to end, like a bad relationship, a toxic work environment or a nefariously planned “pandemic”.

So what are we to do when impatience rears its ugly head?

9 Tips for Combating Impatience

First, we need to decide if the effort spent is worth the desired outcome in particular situations. Is it worth standing in a long line to buy one thing you don’t really need? Is building a business really what you want to do and worth the amount of sacrifice?

Learn to recognize when you are feeling impatient. Is there another response you could have instead?

Stop multi-tasking. Focus on the present moment.

Stop worrying about the future. Instead, set attainable goals and plan wisely for the future which will give you more confidence that things will be ok and you have done all that you could.

Try to be more organized and allow yourself enough time to prevent being in a hurry.

Have things to do for times when you have to wait. Have music or an audiobook available in the car for traffic jams or long trips. I enjoy word games, which are easy to load onto your phone for days when you have to wait in a doctor’s office or for your kids to get out of school.

Play a little game with yourself to practice patience. Next time you are in line at the store, practice remaining calm and just look at the things and people around you and think about what they may be going through instead of getting annoyed and upset waiting. Strike up a conversation with someone in line.

Accept what you cannot control. Let go of the control you think impatience is giving you. Our feelings won’t change a situation.

Trust in God and His perfect timing and that He cares for you.

When we learn to cultivate more patience in our lives we will reap the fruits of our efforts. We will be calmer, happier, healthier and more successful without our impatience getting the best of us.

We will also be growing in the fruits of the Holy Spirit: “the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, PATIENCE, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.” Galatians 5:22-23

Good things are said to come to those who wait. Maybe patience is one muscle worth exercising.

Quit Grumbling and Complaining?

Ordinary Moments, Psychology, Spirituality

January 8, 2024

I know I should be thankful I have enough food to eat, but four days after Christmas I was still eating multitudes of mushrooms. I don’t like mushrooms. I barely tolerate them. Yet every Polish food item we bought this year had mushrooms. Mushroom pierogis, mushroom dumplings, mushroom soup. I was ready to pull my hair out!

I walked around grumbling about crumbs and feeling like the Israelites eating manna in the desert. I can totally relate.

Mushrooms, every single day. Although 4 days doesn’t compare to 40 years, I don’t understand why God would get mad at the Israelites for being tired of eating manna. Wouldn’t He have liked some variety once in a while? (Exodus 16:1-36)

Their complaining probably angered Him because He was the provider of all their needs and got them out of Egypt, and yet they were not thankful or appreciative enough. We are all like the Israelites sometimes.

Along with my mushroom “manna”, every sink in my house has been giving out. First it was the kitchen sink spraying water all over the place since before Thanksgiving. It’s like I was taking a shower and simultaneously washing the walls every time I turned it on. At least the walls are clean.

The last straw was when the bathroom sink started the same thing while brushing my teeth!! How much can a person take? (In case you are wondering, I found out the aerator on the bottom of faucets needs to be replaced periodically.) So guess what my husband finally went shopping for? He even ordered an aerator from the kitchen sink manufacturer and it came the very NEXT day!! I had suffered too long.

Even when I tried NOT to eat mushrooms, it didn’t work out so well. I decided to eat some scrambled eggs with leftover Swedish pancakes. A refreshing contrast, I hoped. But alas, I found mysterious gray strands in the syrup on the pancakes I was eating. MOLD?! Whatever it was, I wasn’t going to eat any more of it! Perhaps God was teaching me a lesson for dissing the mushrooms. He did get mad at the Israelites, after all.

All these are very minor annoyances in the grand scheme of life, but every day it seems like there is just one annoying thing after another, pounding on me like a hammer. Like today, I get ready to eat some cereal and I find my unopened container of milk is leaking in the fridge so I had to dump it, clean up and switch my menu. It’s like somebody is trying to tell me something.

Let’s get psychological about this for a moment. Is my dissatisfaction serving some need? Am I enjoying complaining? Could I make the choice to not let life’s annoyances bother me? Perhaps, but I am not one to suffer in silence. There is some value in venting. So I think complaining does have a purpose and can get you what you want if you know where to draw the line or are persistent enough.

Even God broke down and gave the Israelites some meat for a month after all their complaining. Although He made sure He gave them so much meat they couldn’t stand it anymore! Variety is the spice of life I say. (Numbers 11:1-35)

Complaining did serve a purpose in my case. It got my husband fed up enough to buy the doggone aerators. Persistence can pay off. Remember the parable of the persistent widow in the Bible? Her persistence paid off just because the judge became weary of her continuous asking. She didn’t give up until she got what she wanted. I say, “You go, girl!” (Luke 18:1-8)

And then there’s Luke 11:5-8 which is the story of the man who bothers his friend at midnight for some bread. The man and his children are already in bed and he did not want to be disturbed. Jesus says, “I tell you if he does not get up to give him the loaves because of their friendship, he will get up to give him whatever he needs because of his persistence.”

As illustrated, persistence can be a good thing. We need it to succeed in life, but how often do we quit before we reach our desired goal or outcome?

Upon reading further in Luke, Jesus shows us we also need persistence in prayer. There have been things I have had to pray for for years before I received an answer. Therefore, persistence can help increase our faith.

Complaining often gets a bad rap, but it can pay off. Businesses, like the kitchen faucet place, have Customer Service departments. The legal system also deals with complaints, and a “no” can turn into a “yes” with the right argument.

Also, some people are better at getting results than others. My son has a knack for complaints resulting in positive outcomes. One time he had reservations at a restaurant and had to wait an extra 20 minutes. He made a formal complaint and was rewarded with a $100 gift card of which I was the happy recipient of a free lunch. There is a time for everything. Sometimes there is even a time for complaining.

It’s a new year. I never do resolutions. To be honest, I don’t think I am at the point where I am serious about giving up my grumbling and complaining either. But, it’s something to think about in case I get inspired to turn over a new leaf. Wish me luck. And next year I am going to make sure we do better holiday meal planning with far less mushrooms!! It will be one less thing to complain about.